Lonely Wolf or Bored Sheep?

I feel the choice between being a lonely wolf or a bored sheep is a question that is currently defining my life. I'm not suggesting that following the path, behaviour and lifestyle that society would lead me on is boring for anyone else. It just relates to the way in which my brain perceives it and acquires a lack of stimulation from it.

Alone looking up at Mount Cook

 My thought process and ambitions don't seem to fit into the direction which I feel expected to follow. My thirst for the unknown left unquenched by what society, my community and my generation are directing me to experience. 

So what are my choices?

I can follow my desire to spend time with my friends closest to me, but starve myself of what I wish to achieve. I can manipulate my mindset into one which it was never designed to function, like beating a square peg into a triangular hole.

Or do I follow my gut and chase what I seek in the form of adventure thus leading me towards non-conformity and bohemianism. But at what cost? I risk being alienated by friends I hold closest from my childhood and school.

What's the point? 

I wanted to write something to show people that you don't always have to do what society says is cool or because your friends are doing it. Sometimes being a lonely wolf is the only way to achieve what you want out of life. 

Being a lone wolf has come at the cost of upsetting a few of my friends, missing some great parties and nights out. But I've gained a whole collection memories and new friends that have out weighed that cost. 

 I always wish my friends were there with me to experience the places and things I see, but I wouldn't want to be forced into doing something I wouldn't want to do. And the cost of forcing them may damage my friendships more, than seeing them less. 

I'm lucky now to have met people to share these moments with, but still I have times where I must go alone to do what I want to. And as time has gone on, I'm learning that these moments can be even purer without the pollution or commentary of others. But not often!  

Staring on the Pacific from Kaikoura

So don't fear being a lonely wolf. The biggest risk in life is not to take any!